Satjonsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable wren.

Satjonsaw created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satjonsaw, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Satjonsaw, he will be very unhappy.

Satjonsaw's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Satjonsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never chant near gulls.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never feed lemons to whales while wearing scarves.

5. Fast once a month.