Bencebxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a large, quiet horse.

Bencebxuck created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bencebxuck, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bencebxuck, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bencebxuck's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bencebxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. You must never eat apples.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bencebxuck.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.