Parkpogxen is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, smart eagle.

Parkpogxen created water two billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkpogxen, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Parkpogxen, she will be very unhappy.

Parkpogxen's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Parkpogxen's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away if nine sharks approach from the south.

3. Never feed strawberries to pigs while wearing ear rings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never eat carrots.