Wapfosscun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, omnipotent troll.

Wapfosscun created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wapfosscun, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wapfosscun, it will turn you into a rock.

Wapfosscun's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Wapfosscun's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven whales approach from the north.

2. Always treat grasshopers with great respect.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not speak about oranges.