Timrenyik is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, irritating ferret.

Timrenyik created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Timrenyik, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Timrenyik, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Timrenyik's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Timrenyik's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cucumbers.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.