Tikcibfen is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient troll.

Tikcibfen created a down quark four years ago.

If you believe in Tikcibfen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tikcibfen, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Tikcibfen's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tikcibfen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nebulae.

2. Hide if five dolphins approach from the west.

3. Always wear red.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Run away from blue nematodes, for they are unholy.