Vogarpgig is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain jaguar.

Vogarpgig created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Vogarpgig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vogarpgig, she will turn you into a rock.

Vogarpgig's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Vogarpgig's Holy Commandments

1. Vogarpgig loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.