Kaplatspag is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent hummingbird.

Kaplatspag created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaplatspag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kaplatspag, he will turn you into a tree.

Kaplatspag's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kaplatspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. You must love Kaplatspag.

3. You must never eat lentils.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Do not take Kaplatspag's name in vain.