Naktonkfut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, benevolent scorpion.

Naktonkfut created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Naktonkfut, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Naktonkfut, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Naktonkfut's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Naktonkfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Naktonkfut must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not kill gulls.