Bissominzan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful otter.

Bissominzan created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bissominzan, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bissominzan, he will try to impress you with trees.

Bissominzan's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bissominzan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Bissominzan in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Hide from pink eagles for they are unholy.

4. Never run in the presence of birds.

5. You must never eat coconuts.