Gunfas is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, blissful pig.

Gunfas created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Gunfas, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gunfas, he will send you a sign.

Gunfas' most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gunfas' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Gunfas loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

4. Badgers are not to be trusted.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Gunfas in the centre of the settlement.