Kimflagxin is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humorless toad.

Kimflagxin created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimflagxin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kimflagxin, she will be very sad.

Kimflagxin's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kimflagxin's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near porpoises.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Run away if nine cats approach from the west.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Worship no other gods but Kimflagxin.