Arfnutpop Pangabgan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, self-assured dryad.

Arfnutpop Pangabgan created everything that exists eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfnutpop Pangabgan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Arfnutpop Pangabgan, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Arfnutpop Pangabgan's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Arfnutpop Pangabgan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never hurt horses.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near eagles while wearing cyan scarves.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.