Lakyatciss is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy capybara.

Lakyatciss created the Milkyway four million years ago.

If you believe in Lakyatciss, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lakyatciss, it will destroy your favourite star.

Lakyatciss' most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Lakyatciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Feed all hungry geese.