Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, awe-inspiring octopus.

Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss created Europe six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss, she will make you grow a tail.

Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss' most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Spaggesshun Stipgilfoss loves whales, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

5. Never talk about moons.