Loopwadbit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, temperamental cat.

Loopwadbit created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopwadbit, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Loopwadbit, she will turn you into a mole.

Loopwadbit's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Loopwadbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of pineapples to aardvarks while wearing fawn kilts.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Do not take Loopwadbit's name in vain.