Saftamappwapfonjathigbad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable grasshopper.

Saftamappwapfonjathigbad created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saftamappwapfonjathigbad, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Saftamappwapfonjathigbad, she will turn you into a puffin.

Saftamappwapfonjathigbad's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Saftamappwapfonjathigbad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must never eat cucumbers.

5. Do not hurt sheep.