Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy rat.

Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. You must pray to Zagtiggedrigjonkemvadxin six times a day.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.