Tifxucvad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awesome slug.

Tifxucvad created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifxucvad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tifxucvad, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tifxucvad's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tifxucvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest cyan.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Tifxucvad on top of all buildings.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never feed lots of tomatoes to squirrels while wearing green trousers.