Ontpongutrakfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, generous wolf.

Ontpongutrakfat created the Sun six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontpongutrakfat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ontpongutrakfat, she will not care.

Ontpongutrakfat's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Ontpongutrakfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.