Pignigpin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable snail.

Pignigpin created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pignigpin, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pignigpin, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pignigpin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Pignigpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Always wear magenta.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.