Vadfasxen is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, intelligent hamster.

Vadfasxen created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadfasxen, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Vadfasxen, she will remove you from existence.

Vadfasxen's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Vadfasxen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vadfasxen.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Retreat if seven manatees approach from the east.

5. You must love Vadfasxen.