Appmipyim is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, grumpy warg.

Appmipyim created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Appmipyim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Appmipyim, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Appmipyim's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Appmipyim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

2. You must pray to Appmipyim seven times a day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Appmipyim.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near pigs while wearing cyan kilts and balancing five gold spheres on your back.

5. Never wear brown stockings.