Nakcubdot Dumdad is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omniscient turtle.

Nakcubdot Dumdad created Africa seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakcubdot Dumdad, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nakcubdot Dumdad, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nakcubdot Dumdad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nakcubdot Dumdad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

5. Always look after injured geese.