Zigmatsas Latcarpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, contented wasp.

Zigmatsas Latcarpog created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Zigmatsas Latcarpog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Zigmatsas Latcarpog, it will try to impress you with trees.

Zigmatsas Latcarpog's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Zigmatsas Latcarpog's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Do not take Zigmatsas Latcarpog's name in vain.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear dresses.