Stikdussquagsuggad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful goat.

Stikdussquagsuggad created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Stikdussquagsuggad, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stikdussquagsuggad, he will turn you into a puffin.

Stikdussquagsuggad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Stikdussquagsuggad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never mention snakes.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near snails while wearing violet tights and balancing three zinc spheres on your face.