Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate parrot.

Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak created a charm quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak.

2. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Figlunsitfudwoncadtomnak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Hide if three dogs approach from the west.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never bounce in holy places.