Matflamcat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciless centipede.

Matflamcat created humankind four million years ago.

If you believe in Matflamcat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Matflamcat, he will be very sad.

Matflamcat's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Matflamcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.