Queegkimmabpib is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate lizard.

Queegkimmabpib created the Whirlpool Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegkimmabpib, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Queegkimmabpib, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Queegkimmabpib's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Queegkimmabpib's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Worship no other gods but Queegkimmabpib.

3. Feed all hungry gulls.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Queegkimmabpib loves rats, so they must be honoured.