Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, sage shrew.

Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Flamvenwitquartsadnarlweglog's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not speak about rice.