Flatbumcan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous bat.

Flatbumcan created oxygen six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatbumcan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flatbumcan, it will turn you into a worm.

Flatbumcan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Flatbumcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

2. Always help ducks.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Always treat foxes with great respect.