Farncussafdoss Vognartyog is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome porpoise.

Farncussafdoss Vognartyog created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farncussafdoss Vognartyog, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Farncussafdoss Vognartyog, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Farncussafdoss Vognartyog's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Farncussafdoss Vognartyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Feed all hungry great tits.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Farncussafdoss Vognartyog.