Bafgubfig is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, vain spider.

Bafgubfig created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafgubfig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bafgubfig, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bafgubfig's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bafgubfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not stand on grass.