Dudvegbig Didcebmad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, compassionate fairy.

Dudvegbig Didcebmad created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Dudvegbig Didcebmad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dudvegbig Didcebmad, he will turn you into a worm.

Dudvegbig Didcebmad's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Dudvegbig Didcebmad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never wear magenta shoes.