Vagfutfot is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, egotistical seal.

Vagfutfot created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfutfot, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vagfutfot, it will turn you into a snail.

Vagfutfot's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vagfutfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat swans with great respect.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.