Tipfotzim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, proud hummingbird.

Tipfotzim created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Tipfotzim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tipfotzim, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tipfotzim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tipfotzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never run near nematodes.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Tipfotzim on top of all buildings.

5. Do not cook food in pots.