Cubgumcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, staggering dryad.

Cubgumcuss created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cubgumcuss, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cubgumcuss, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cubgumcuss' most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Cubgumcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.