Cutgudkim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, dishonourable goat.

Cutgudkim created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutgudkim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cutgudkim, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cutgudkim's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cutgudkim's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.