Arpkenliktal is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-knowing hamster.

Arpkenliktal created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Arpkenliktal, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Arpkenliktal, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Arpkenliktal's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arpkenliktal's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never wear trousers.

3. Erect eight carbon sculptures of Arpkenliktal on top of important buildings.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not listen to music.