Yogappton is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, generous armadillo.

Yogappton created the Whirlpool Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogappton, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Yogappton, he will manifest in front of you.

Yogappton's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Yogappton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing black tights and balancing four tin spheres on your feet.

3. Never talk about pigs.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Yogappton in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not keep eight nematodes in a large pit.