Jabvabbap is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy salamander.

Jabvabbap created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jabvabbap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jabvabbap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jabvabbap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Jabvabbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Jabvabbap on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about planets.

4. Jabvabbap loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.