Taplagarn is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonourable fairy.

Taplagarn created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Taplagarn, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Taplagarn, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Taplagarn's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Taplagarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt capybaras.

2. Never feed gooseberries to badgers while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always stare at clouds.