Fatbon is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless owl.

Fatbon created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatbon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fatbon, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Fatbon's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Fatbon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Never mention porpoises.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never sprint in the presence of badgers.