Femtafabflis is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humorless gnu.

Femtafabflis created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Femtafabflis, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Femtafabflis, it will turn you into a mouse.

Femtafabflis' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Femtafabflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.