Basstipnat Targpitkon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, amazing human.

Basstipnat Targpitkon created an up quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Basstipnat Targpitkon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Basstipnat Targpitkon, she will ignore you.

Basstipnat Targpitkon's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Basstipnat Targpitkon's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.