Futcebomt is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, emotional dingo.

Futcebomt created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futcebomt, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Futcebomt, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Futcebomt's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Futcebomt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never mention gulls.

3. Retreat if three horses approach from the north.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not skip in public.