Arpratdam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omniscient lion.

Arpratdam created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpratdam, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Arpratdam, she will boil you in a big pot.

Arpratdam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Arpratdam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Arpratdam loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. You must pray to Arpratdam six times a day.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.