Yarcinwee is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, selfish raven.

Yarcinwee created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Yarcinwee, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yarcinwee, he will not care at all.

Yarcinwee's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Yarcinwee's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about special relativity near seals while wearing pink scarves and balancing six silicon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not take Yarcinwee's name in vain.

5. Never talk about black holes.