Vagbumben is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, omniscient owl.

Vagbumben created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagbumben, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vagbumben, she will turn you into a goat.

Vagbumben's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vagbumben's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Feed all hungry capybaras.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about special relativity near dolphins while wearing brown trousers and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.