Cabveggum is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, omniscient pigeon.

Cabveggum created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabveggum, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cabveggum, she will torture you forever.

Cabveggum's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Cabveggum's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple hamsters, for they are unholy.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed lots of onions to tapirs while wearing indigo coats.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.